Spiritual Inner Exploration
Another inner exploration week. Time flies when you’re having fun, or so they say. Time flies no matter what!
I started meditating again. It’s been on and off for the past thirty years. I can pinpoint the starting moment for my spiritual journey. It was 1987; Shirley Maclaine’sOut on a Limb miniseries just came out. It opened in me a new and exciting way to experience life and I really made it my own.
I was raised somewhat Catholic and went to and all-boy Catholic School on Seventh Grade until I graduated from High School. I say ‘somewhat’ because we never went to Mass, never said grace before a meal and never followed a strict regimen. The only thing I remember growing up was Holy Week. No meat, no music on Good Friday, no hard labor or hammering a nail on the wall either. This was before Cable TV. The only shows on tv were a million versions of Jesus Via Crucis and Moses’s Ten Commandments. We learned to survive that week.
Astrology and Metaphysics
My spiritual journey took me to explore Astrology. I’ve always been an Astronomy fan thanks to my grandmother, but this was different. This was analysis, math and some metaphysics and ancient knowledge. I really enjoyed making Natal Charts for friends and family and trying to tell the future. I never mastered it, but it fascinated me. When I had the bookstore, I explored Runes, Tarot, Feng Shui, Aura Reading, Soul Searching and much more. Somehow, this unexplored territory answered some of the questions I had; specially, Why are we here!
On Being Adopted
Maybe because I was adopted when I was only 8 months old or maybe because of my incessant desire to learn and live life to the fullest, I embarked on this spiritual side of life seeking for answers. They were never answered, but I learned a lot along the way and I grew inside to the person I am today. Adoption was somewhat a taboo growing up in Puerto Rico in the 70’s, Even so, that my parents looked for me in Spain and not in Puerto Rico, or maybe was destiny. DESTINY…. That’s a whole new topic for a future blog. Anyhow, when I learned of my adoption, I felt shame. It was new to me and I didn’t know what to make of it or what it meant. I made up stories of how I was born in Spain and ended up in Puerto Rico and every time it got more confusing. I made peace with it later in life and even though I don’t have all the answers, I am sure I was meant to be here.
Nevertheless, my spiritual journey is still unfolding. I do and don’t believe in God. Let me explain. I don’t believe in the Roman Catholic Church interpretation of God. I’m still seeking and exploring. Faith works for some people, but no one knows for sure where we go when we die. We only have Faith to keep us at ease waiting for that moment. It’s easier to say I Believe than admit that We don’t Know, and the Catholic Church likes it that way.
Spirituality is more general. It is more exploring than believing. I don’t want to follow or take for granted what ANY organized religion says. I need to find my own truth by myself.
The ONE who witnesses your Life
Meditation creates a connection and a separateness at the same time. You realize you are not your body, you’re not even your mind. You are the ONE who witnesses your life and who experiences life through your physical eyes, ears, taste, feel and emotions. It creates a vantage point that allows to see the macro.
Keep exploring but don’t get caught in the details. Life has much more to offer. The Universe works in perfect order without us having to do anything about it. We are just a grain of sand in a vast Universe and our little Planet Earth rotating at 1,000 miles per hour and circling the Sun at 67,000 miles per hour.
Explore your Inner Self and let Scientists explore your Outer.